Video interview with Shoshana at SparkstoFire.com on the Goddess, Sacred Feminine and Emotional Development
Healing from abuse
Abuse comes in many forms. A person can experience abuse as a child or as an adult. Abuse is categorized in many fields as any disempowering relationship – this can be present in an environment, organization, or personal dynamic. The disempowerment can affect you emotionally, financially, mentally, physically and, our topic today, spiritually.
Spiritual Abuse is perpetrated by making someone believe they are at the mercy of or indebted to someone in order to receive love / healing from their “God” and or Deity. This would include the notion that one has no direct connection with spirit, and needs to be a certain way i.e., loving, caring, forgiving in order to be a “good” person. This includes religions with no Deity, a belief system that the whole community believes to be true. An example of this is non-dualism, which fundamentally believes there are no male / female differences and people are all “one”. This abuse disengages people from their individuality, weakening needs and boundaries. For a woman, this can lead to financial instability and sexual obligation, leaving her feeling like she can never stop giving of herself.
How spiritual abuse feels at first is that for the first time you are known and loved, wanted and desired. There is an “other world” feeling of euphoria. This is neurological stimuli and it is addicting. This is why women who are being abused will return to the abuser. In spiritual communities, this feels like the whole world makes sense within the community and does not make sense outside of the community. This is entrapment. If you leave you fear you will no longer be loved.
Spiritual abuse works because there is an ego component. When you are in the group, environment or relationship that is spiritually abusive, you are placed on a pedestal – the community believes it has the “right way” and you are part of it. The ego likes to feel special. But, invariably, being placed on a pedestal will lead to you being knocked off, after which you will work to get uplifted again. Then you will be placed up, knocked off, and you will work to get uplifted again. This cycle continues until it is broken. If a sexual component is part of the abuse, the woman will be the sexual “diva” until she has a need. But if she shuts down she will feel something is wrong with her and she will work to open back up again.
The effects this has are numerous. You will start to forget who you are, what you feel, what are your thoughts, needs, and feelings. There will be feelings of loss and strong euphoric experiences followed by deep depression and/or rage. You will feel a need to prove yourself and lead a “pure life”. This will always lead to a strong desire to “help others” and place others on the pedestal too. This is why spiritually abused people perpetrate by becoming charismatic leaders. They do not know they want to get out or how to heal.
The first step to healing from spiritual abuse is to find out what you are avoiding healing for yourself through the distraction of the community or institution. Get into counseling for support and find spiritual work that is designed to lead you to yourself, i.e. your intuition, your feelings, your purpose. Find what makes you shine. Seek out calmness and gentle touch.
Shoshana Des Chenes, Sacred Feminine Program and Priestess Works
Women’s work is about identifying the convoluted emotions women project on people.
In a women’s circle, these emotions usually will go unchallenged or will be denied a clear listening.
A clear listening comes from a leader who knows the emotional depth women have. Because this is largely misunderstood, leaders will either lead women through men’s work, or through a morass of emotional clustering doing nothing except perpetuating emotional wounding and victimhood.
I am a leader in women’s work. I have worked with women between the ages of 15 to 75. All women need emotional clearing, balancing and straightening to change the pattern of using their emotions to dominate, manipulate and distort responsibility.
Here are a few guidelines to know:
Women’s integrity is defined as... aligning the higher self with inner intention with the deed. This is the higher will or higher self connected to personal truth. Words and actions guided by the higher self. All parts of the being aligned, intentions words and actions guided by purpose. This is an art and takes training, guidance and teaching to attain. Because so much has to do with integrity, it is important to see how a woman’s integrity works. It is not just honoring word, it is knowing what to honor, saying it and living it.
Women’s ability to be effective in the world germinates from their intuition. Not the type of intuition known as feeling, but rather a deep practice developed through guidance teachings and dedication to knowing truth from programmed belief. This is difficult to attain. Women leading women in listening to body feelings and subtle feeling should stop. It is like giving someone a scalpel after a two week class and telling them to cut, “go on you can perform surgery, its natural, your guidance will show you the way”. This is wrong. Intuition is an art, an art that leads to mastering effectiveness and life purpose.
Women when healed can love deeply without entanglement. Mastering relationship begins with honoring boundaries, both personal ones and others. Boundaries must be communicated. Most women believe love is giving one’s self over to their partner by loving unconditionally or by giving something to them. But nothing comes for free. Women do this knowing that they are setting up their loved one to “give back”. This is disappointing when the woman does not get back what she gave. This is manipulation, a way to receive from their partner. Be suspicious, notice this impulse to give and try to see where you stopped caring for yourself and began to need something from your partner and then began to give to get what you need.
Women take energy. Unless a women is connected to her own life source, she will try to get it from others. Women can be draining, needy and depleted. Women leading women’s work need to teach women to connect to their own life force for energy. This is a foundational practice but difficult to do in a group. Women have a way of making the group the “source” of energy. So, they love the women’s group but their life still is blocked. If you really want to help a woman, have her begin to locate her independent connection to life source while learning to be in a group. This will challenge a women’s need to be interdependent, care take or hooking into others. Groups are amazing places to bring women into connection with themselves but not as a crutch.
Lastly as written on the opening statement of this page: Women’s work is about identifying the convoluted emotions women project on people. Sometimes it is difficult to know emotions from intuition, if the emotions are balanced this changes dramatically. Intuition is pure knowing, emotions can be convoluted with needs, traumas and desires. A projection is a way to see the internal displayed on the external. A person, situation or environment can reflect back to the projector some hidden belief inconsistent with personal truth. The hidden belief is frightening, so when viewed externally in a reflection, the women will dislike what they see. Yet, it is simply reflecting for her what she has yet to accept about herself. This is healing. Teaching women to identify what is a reflection and what are boundaries that need to be communicated is the key to female empowerment, healthy relations and a life lived from truth.
Congratulations for taking another step into your dream of being a fully embodied woman! Or, a man who knows the feminine nature!
Shoshana Ananda, Sacred Feminine Program leader
Women in Spiritual Evolution
If evolution is a slow process regarding circumstances in nature coupled from time to time with an unpredictable leap moving humanity forward, then it can be safely said that women have and will have specific developments onto themselves.
These unpredictable leaps serve a purpose on a community level that is difficult to see until the leap has settled into commonality. I believe we are in the midst of a leap and women are the focal point of this evolution. For humanity to attain a radiant relationship with the universe there needs to be an awakening in relationship with the feminine aspects of the universe. For thousands of years spiritual development has centered around the Divine masculine. Currently the Divine feminine is being captured inside of the religions of old as an important and vital component to the development of Jesus, Buddha, Shiva and so on, and their personal awakenings. Reducing the Divine feminine to a “counterpart” or “support” encourages the original annihilation of our relationship with the Divine feminine, and that is the belief that women are most spiritually connected when they experience unconditional love and caretake others.
This is what we developed for survival needs and the next leap in evolution for humanity will be from this care taking role into something completely new. This is how our neurological reactions and hormonal impulses have trapped us inside a paradigm where the masculine divinity developed, as women centered themselves on the tribe and keeping equilibrium within.
Because the central nervous system and hormonal reactions dominate experience, women need to begin clearing the reactionary impulses for safety in order to evolve. Our emotional body is the beginning of our personal awakening, yet this emotional awakening needs to be specific and unique from any other path; because each path in existence was created to ensure the safety of the tribe and therefor masculine based enlightenment. For us to evolve we must reach further into both the past and into the uncreated future for our expansion, In other words, pre-Christian societies for archeological evidence of the female Divine. But not to rely on the scientific evidence to try to recreate what we think the Divine feminine was. We need to emerge into the new expression in this time for it to be authentic and also totally new. A new paradigm awaits us and women are the key!
Women and the Emotional Body
The emotional body is the energy produced from the hormonal system, the endocrine glands and their production of hormones. Our hormonal reactions are tied to evolutionary developments to dangerous situations in the wild as well as learned responses from programing in developmental years. Because women have more of these responses due to monthly cycles, puberty and menopause, they developed a more complex patterning in the endocrine system than men, again specific to their survival needs. Also, men’s basic hormonal reactions to stress are easier to cope with for them because of their evolutionary developments for the fight or flight response to produce adrenaline for hunting. These easy to cope with reactions for men drain and eat away at a woman’s wellbeing. Said in another way, the stress of modern day life for women can be overwhelming on a physical level.
If you include the evolutionary leap inside of this view of the physical body, what you will find is a need for women to evolve the way basic hormonal reactions overtake their life’s experience. If women are to reach an enlightenment then they need to address the basic need they have for clearing the emotional body from the past useful reactions in-order to inspire a development in hormonal harmony. Spiritual pathways offer this for men but fall short for women. Rather than equalizing emotion to reach a middle point, women need to enhance their emotions to reach an evolutionary leap, first to clear them of old programing, then to enhance the pure emotion free from the fear factor and survival needs.
This enhancing of emotion will not be of chaotic emotions, but of a pure hormonal awakening. What this awakening offers in the enhancement of pure emotion is an ecstatic space of being in the body and most importantly opens the door to a vital component to women’s enlightenment, the use of her intuition.
A woman’s intuition is always working but clouded by the constant influx of a lesser intelligence in the emotional body, clouded by programing. Intuition requires development, clearing must take place first, then an education in the workings of this powerful and natural gift. When the intuition is developed a woman can bypass most hormonal reaction because she finds safety within. This is a level of wisdom and women are not truly adult until they can understand, clear and have correct and accurate use of this force within. This sets the stage for an evolutionary leap.
Women’s Manifestation and Creation
Working in tandem with the hormones is the nervous system. Together they create homeostasis. Homeostasis is the communication between organs. The endocrine glands produce hormones, hormones create communication between organs. The purpose of the nervous system is to produce the reaction in the skeletal muscular system and organs from the communication by the hormones. You can try to change your beliefs all day, but until your body knows to change these functions you will react. Meditation is one of the best ways to focus intention deep enough for the body to listen to a new communication beyond electrical impulse.
Think of the nervous system as an electrical current manufacturing impulses for you to react, this system is so intelligent that it works on levels your mind can consciously barely reach. The nervous system knows the totality of your life’s experience. Your brain allows you to remember a slight fraction of what you really know. This is where the intuition comes in. Intuition is the access to this mainframe in your body and its deep well of wisdom. The reason new experiences enhance your intuitive capabilities is because your nervous system opens to entirely unused neurological pathways of previously stored information and the whole body awakens to the experience of something new.
This well of knowledge can be tapped deeply by women who have cleared their emotional body first to a point where it will not interfere with this communication. The emotions interfere to keep the old programming and patterning. The intuition is deeper than emotion and accessing the intuition requires learning how to communicate with this neurological mainframe. When one can communicate with this internal wisdom, shifting life from hormonal, neurological survival into creation becomes possible.
This is our ability to manifest and attract. The body wants to create and, when a woman can access true guidance from within, a woman feels the magic of creative new energy run through her, and she feels it ecstatically because all the emotions are awake. This ecstasy is clearly distinct from reactionary impulse.
This is the secret to manifestation for women. When an intention is combined with the intuition, it unfolds into reality because the energy of the nervous system is the electromagnetic filed. This field has the magnetic capabilities to draw in what it is aligned with. This is a real and measurable field. Women manifest first from clearing emotion then from listening to this mainframe for guidance, the problem is, they don’t know it. The electromagnetic field also repels from it what it is not aligned on. The power to attract also is the power to repel.
Women are complicated, aligning their intentions requires the intuition. Listening to the intuition takes practice and an education in how this mainframe works. When a woman has alignment, her whole body radiates, she shines, effortlessly drawing in what she is intending. When this process is followed, the electricity of the body enhances, and a woman has magnetism. This is seen as being graceful.
After this gracefulness is achieved an evolutionary leap is possible. First, because the physical body is prepared. Second, because the energy field of the endocrine system, the emotional body, is practiced in receiving new life source and new emotion. The energy of the nervous system, the intuitive body, is practiced in manifestation and creation, so the nervous system knows it can create anything. Third, this primes the spiritual body for a radical shift. Fourth, the ego is calmed and ready for change. It knows it can survive and create beyond the normal means of the paradigm it was handed.
Reaching for this evolution requires women to go where they have not gone before, into the deep well of despair in the heart. This place is always wishing it could be healed, but women are so busy trying to fill it. The above process has eliminated much of the soot in and around the heart and now the descent to Sacred Feminine may begin.
This is a sacred process and a rite of passage into something new and ancient, untold yet known and glorified and feared. This descent is not one of intellect, but one of feeling and silence. It is a remarkable thing a woman can descend into the deep. Not the deep of suppressed emotion, this journey is a journey to the Divine. Neither lore nor myth has captured this magic, not war not famine has cast away its power. But through thousands of years we lost our connection and hid it where it could not be found, in the hole within the place we as women most despise. When it is found, it cannot be mistaken. It is truly yours and not of the construct or ego, and it is the beginning to a new paradigm.
This new paradigm is rising up like the crashing tides and shaken earth… our planet is shifting, women need to be moving this energy up and into creation. Men are best off supporting this path. And when women are connecting with the Female aspect of the Divine, the guidance received will be unmistaken. It will not fit into cultural beliefs and our construct as we know it will be written from the deep up, this is the unknown for humanity, the new paradigm emerging. Women are the key, this is why women must be seeking a new path to enlightenment, a new path, the path of the priestess is emerging.
Sacred Feminine is the practices and principles in the mystical aspects of womanhood.
ˈsā-krəd : dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity
\ˈfe-mə-nən\; characteristic of or appropriate or unique to women